Mon, Mar. 16th, 2009, 02:12 am
I haven't posted on this in a long time. It will be about half a year, if not more.
Right now, a lot of things are happening that seem to really make me cherish the family and friends I have been given. My cousins lost their father and deep down, or maybe not so deep, I wonder and think and overanalyze and obsess with the fact that one day my parents will no longer be in my life. It is a scary thing to type that, let alone think it in my head. I can't think of what I would do. They mean so much to me. Even now, losing my cousin is killing me. It's not so much that he passed away; he was suffering and is in a much better place now. It's knowing my cousins are still suffering, and will for the rest of their lives.
Ever since my Grandma died, I have noticed more and more deaths around me. I think it takes one person close to you to no longer be there for you to realize the hole that they leave. You never realize that every person you meet takes a piece of your heart. Some bigger than others. It's not a bad thing, it just hurts like hell when you can no longer see them or hear them or smell them or even remember what their face looks like. The pain ebbs away, but one day you realize you can't think of their voice or see them in your mind and the pain returns, only it's new. This pain is one of finally losing this person not only in life but in mind. Memories are cherished, but don't always last forever.
When you find yourself mindlessly walking through each day, take a moment to step back mentally and observe your world. Cherish your friends and family and those moments. From silly things to momentous occasions. Cherish them then because life is not just a scrapbook or yearbook to look back on; it is a journey to live day-by-day and to plan for the future. Enjoy the people you hold dear in your life, and make everyday count.
Mon, Apr. 28th, 2008, 01:13 am
It seems that every good transition begins with an intervention. The kind that wakes us up from our stale life and makes us realize we are behind. Or rather, there is more ahead to experience.
I feel there is a shift in me. Almost half a year ago there was a slide backwards, towards the direction of something that I wish had never occurred. But as I told a friend earlier, there are no regrets in life, only experiences.
So there was my mistake. One full of confusion and mix-up of emotions. I emerged from the dust dazed and broken and numb.
For months I forced things - hoping that it would happen again to me. Only for real. And there would be sparks and a constant smile on my face. But the smile that I wore was the one I usually wear. The cover-smile to show the strength above the pain.
Now, I don't know if I'm numb or what has happened. But I feel that there is a change deep inside me. A voice that has never before spoken in my mind. One of confidence, self-worth, and motivation. In one day, I changed the way I am. The poise with which I stand. The voice and words I use. The way I let the world see me. This is a *new* Becca. One that truly does not care about what others say or think, because deep down inside there is a strength born anew.
So this transition begins with the help of those a few years older than me. It is strange how a few hundred more days of experience can show a significant difference between guys my age. They seem to know exactly how to turn my head and make me feel full of worth. I am no longer treated like a piece of meat, but like a person who can be respected and loved.
Nothing can beat that feeling of a complete stranger telling you that you are beautiful.
Tue, Jun. 19th, 2007, 09:11 pm
this might be it. this summer i might actually retire the ole (thats "old" not ole' - heh heh) lj. i mean....amazonwoman*07*. Amazon is going to college and things are gonna be different.
i will prolly start a new one and try a more journalistic blog. we will see what happens.
im not gone for good. Good luck to all my fellow college freshies. Here we go again. but, hopefully it will be an exciting new part of our lives.
and to all the high school seniors. have a great year. or at least attempt to.
moving-in day is August 16. please come out and visit me. there is so much to do in O-town - gotta spread the love.
till next time.
Sat, May. 26th, 2007, 12:10 pm
it is over....
how strange it feels to say I am no longer a high school student, but a college freshie.
for most, our orientations are fast approaching. I wish ALL the best of luck!
the Class of 2007 really made a difference at Lecanto, and I know will make a difference in the world someday.
in the wise words of Edward R. Morrow
"Good night and good luck"
Mon, May. 21st, 2007, 09:42 pm
and just like that....summer begins.
I invite EVERYONE to come on Thursday @ 7 on the field for the Commencement Exercises (no, there will be no running or jumping) of the Class of 2007!!!!
yay! we did it!
Mon, May. 14th, 2007, 03:35 pm
i think you all should vote (if you already havent) for the Citrus County Athlete person of the year-o.
atleast that what i think its called.....
heneyways....heres the link-o....http://www.chronicle-online.com/athelete/athelete.php
vote for RUN-DMC (Rundio) and COOOOKIEEE (Cooke)
thassss right. do it! OK. im done.
Sun, May. 13th, 2007, 08:44 pm
4 days (2 days of Senior/AP exams) left....
and then we are freeee................
its so strange. I feel like I should still be learning to lace my shoes in Kindergarten. But here I am, about to move onto college.
its a warm and strange feeling. like something really good is about to happen.
Mon, May. 7th, 2007, 10:02 pm
well well well....
its time for AP....two weeks of hell.
and wow. I'm not ready for 3 out of my 4 tests.
Sun, Apr. 29th, 2007, 12:20 pm
Wow....Saturday brought alot of sweeeeet justice to my life.
some 3-4 years worth. especially this year...
Half 'n' Half kicked some caucasian butt!
Graduation is in less than a month which means...
*classes i want to take in college
*O-town which is my *new* hometown (atleast it will be soon)
*NCAA Div I rower next year i dont have to feel bad i missed the season this year
*All my EXTRA crap is done and over with
*I wont have to keep biting my tongue over people who insist on being jerks
*AP Chem will be over! hahaaa...
*no more being called Le-CON-to
*no more antelope-cantelopes
*newspaper will be over
*no more impeaching NHS officers
*no more Buettner/Where's Waldo
*no more Cop2 making fun of the way I pronounce -ness
*no more cool parking spots that i spray paint
*no more cooter drill in crew
*no more Bob
Ah...we all have to make sacrifices. Good bye to the C.C.
Sat, Apr. 21st, 2007, 06:24 pm
Soooo....Grad Night was AUH-mazing.
i hung out w/ Ian sylvester or Slyyyyyyy.......
and we rode everything and did everything...shopped, got ice cream and/or coffee and took pictures of everything.
this is a pic of my boyfriend, Mr. Lights. Ian's got a close up w/ me and him.
and this is him w/ his best friend, Mr. More-lights.
rawr...The Fray were amazing. I lovedddd them. and i got video and audio of them! YAY!!!
then i came home and slept. mehhh...
better pics on the way.......