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Mon, Apr. 28th, 2008, 01:13 am
Transition

It seems that every good transition begins with an intervention. The kind that wakes us up from our stale life and makes us realize we are behind. Or rather, there is more ahead to experience.

I feel there is a shift in me. Almost half a year ago there was a slide backwards, towards the direction of something that I wish had never occurred. But as I told a friend earlier, there are no regrets in life, only experiences.

So there was my mistake. One full of confusion and mix-up of emotions. I emerged from the dust dazed and broken and numb.

For months I forced things - hoping that it would happen again to me. Only for real. And there would be sparks and a constant smile on my face. But the smile that I wore was the one I usually wear. The cover-smile to show the strength above the pain.

Now, I don't know if I'm numb or what has happened. But I feel that there is a change deep inside me. A voice that has never before spoken in my mind. One of confidence, self-worth, and motivation. In one day, I changed the way I am. The poise with which I stand. The voice and words I use. The way I let the world see me. This is a *new* Becca. One that truly does not care about what others say or think, because deep down inside there is a strength born anew.

So this transition begins with the help of those a few years older than me. It is strange how a few hundred more days of experience can show a significant difference between guys my age. They seem to know exactly how to turn my head and make me feel full of worth. I am no longer treated like a piece of meat, but like a person who can be respected and loved.

Nothing can beat that feeling of a complete stranger telling you that you are beautiful.