AmaZon Woman

life...

Mon, 16 Mar 2009 06:30:48 GMT

I haven't posted on this in a long time. It will be about half a year, if not more.

Right now, a lot of things are happening that seem to really make me cherish the family and friends I have been given. My cousins lost their father and deep down, or maybe not so deep, I wonder and think and overanalyze and obsess with the fact that one day my parents will no longer be in my life. It is a scary thing to type that, let alone think it in my head. I can't think of what I would do. They mean so much to me. Even now, losing my cousin is killing me. It's not so much that he passed away; he was suffering and is in a much better place now. It's knowing my cousins are still suffering, and will for the rest of their lives.

Ever since my Grandma died, I have noticed more and more deaths around me. I think it takes one person close to you to no longer be there for you to realize the hole that they leave. You never realize that every person you meet takes a piece of your heart. Some bigger than others. It's not a bad thing, it just hurts like hell when you can no longer see them or hear them or smell them or even remember what their face looks like. The pain ebbs away, but one day you realize you can't think of their voice or see them in your mind and the pain returns, only it's new. This pain is one of finally losing this person not only in life but in mind. Memories are cherished, but don't always last forever.

When you find yourself mindlessly walking through each day, take a moment to step back mentally and observe your world. Cherish your friends and family and those moments. From silly things to momentous occasions. Cherish them then because life is not just a scrapbook or yearbook to look back on; it is a journey to live day-by-day and to plan for the future. Enjoy the people you hold dear in your life, and make everyday count.

Transition

Mon, 28 Apr 2008 05:27:07 GMT

It seems that every good transition begins with an intervention. The kind that wakes us up from our stale life and makes us realize we are behind. Or rather, there is more ahead to experience.

I feel there is a shift in me. Almost half a year ago there was a slide backwards, towards the direction of something that I wish had never occurred. But as I told a friend earlier, there are no regrets in life, only experiences.

So there was my mistake. One full of confusion and mix-up of emotions. I emerged from the dust dazed and broken and numb.

For months I forced things - hoping that it would happen again to me. Only for real. And there would be sparks and a constant smile on my face. But the smile that I wore was the one I usually wear. The cover-smile to show the strength above the pain.

Now, I don't know if I'm numb or what has happened. But I feel that there is a change deep inside me. A voice that has never before spoken in my mind. One of confidence, self-worth, and motivation. In one day, I changed the way I am. The poise with which I stand. The voice and words I use. The way I let the world see me. This is a *new* Becca. One that truly does not care about what others say or think, because deep down inside there is a strength born anew.

So this transition begins with the help of those a few years older than me. It is strange how a few hundred more days of experience can show a significant difference between guys my age. They seem to know exactly how to turn my head and make me feel full of worth. I am no longer treated like a piece of meat, but like a person who can be respected and loved.

Nothing can beat that feeling of a complete stranger telling you that you are beautiful.

Wed, 20 Jun 2007 01:15:41 GMT

this might be it. this summer i might actually retire the ole (thats "old" not ole' - heh heh) lj. i mean....amazonwoman*07*. Amazon is going to college and things are gonna be different.

i will prolly start a new one and try a more journalistic blog. we will see what happens.

im not gone for good. Good luck to all my fellow college freshies. Here we go again. but, hopefully it will be an exciting new part of our lives.

and to all the high school seniors. have a great year. or at least attempt to.

moving-in day is August 16. please come out and visit me. there is so much to do in O-town - gotta spread the love.

till next time.
-bd

Sat, 26 May 2007 16:13:09 GMT

it is over....

how strange it feels to say I am no longer a high school student, but a college freshie.

for most, our orientations are fast approaching. I wish ALL the best of luck!

the Class of 2007 really made a difference at Lecanto, and I know will make a difference in the world someday.

in the wise words of Edward R. Morrow
"Good night and good luck"

Tue, 22 May 2007 01:43:27 GMT

wow...

its over.

and just like that....summer begins.

I invite EVERYONE to come on Thursday @ 7 on the field for the Commencement Exercises (no, there will be no running or jumping) of the Class of 2007!!!!

yay! we did it!

Mon, 14 May 2007 19:37:27 GMT

hey guys....

i think you all should vote (if you already havent) for the Citrus County Athlete person of the year-o.

atleast that what i think its called.....

heneyways....heres the link-o....

http://www.chronicle-online.com/athelete/athelete.php

vote for RUN-DMC (Rundio) and COOOOKIEEE (Cooke)

thassss right. do it! OK. im done.

Mon, 14 May 2007 00:46:51 GMT

4 days (2 days of Senior/AP exams) left....

and then we are freeee................

its so strange. I feel like I should still be learning to lace my shoes in Kindergarten. But here I am, about to move onto college.

its a warm and strange feeling. like something really good is about to happen.

Tue, 08 May 2007 02:03:13 GMT

well well well....

its time for AP....two weeks of hell.

and wow. I'm not ready for 3 out of my 4 tests.

whoo hoo.

Sun, 29 Apr 2007 16:31:09 GMT

Wow....Saturday brought alot of sweeeeet justice to my life.

some 3-4 years worth. especially this year...

Half 'n' Half kicked some caucasian butt!

Graduation is in less than a month which means...

*classes i want to take in college
*O-town which is my *new* hometown (atleast it will be soon)
*NCAA Div I rower next year i dont have to feel bad i missed the season this year
*All my EXTRA crap is done and over with
*STARBUCKS
*I wont have to keep biting my tongue over people who insist on being jerks
*AP Chem will be over! hahaaa...
*no more being called Le-CON-to

sadly...
*no more antelope-cantelopes
*newspaper will be over
*no more impeaching NHS officers
*no more Buettner/Where's Waldo
*no more Cop2 making fun of the way I pronounce -ness
*no more cool parking spots that i spray paint
*no more cooter drill in crew
*no more Bob

Ah...we all have to make sacrifices. Good bye to the C.C.

Helloooooooo O-town!

Grad Night

Sat, 21 Apr 2007 22:32:37 GMT

Soooo....Grad Night was AUH-mazing.

i hung out w/ Ian sylvester or Slyyyyyyy.......

and we rode everything and did everything...shopped, got ice cream and/or coffee and took pictures of everything.

this is a pic of my boyfriend, Mr. Lights. Ian's got a close up w/ me and him.

and this is him w/ his best friend, Mr. More-lights.

rawr...The Fray were amazing. I lovedddd them. and i got video and audio of them! YAY!!!

then i came home and slept. mehhh...

better pics on the way.......

Mon, 19 Mar 2007 21:14:20 GMT

OOOOhhhh my gooooodnessss....

i got the *new* RK cd...and im pretty much sooooo happy!!!!

people told me its mellow, but its just that they finally defined themselves. whoa.

<3 them.

Thu, 08 Mar 2007 04:15:30 GMT

is any one else noticing how fast these weeks are zipping by?

I still trying to get settled into my new schedule (from CHRISTMAS)

its weird.

and next week marks our SECOND TO LAST HIGH SCHOOL EXAMS......

whoa.

Sat, 03 Mar 2007 19:12:29 GMT

after 2 years...i finally found the bottle of Vegemite my mother "claimed" to have thrown away.

hidden in our pantry.

rawrrr....not like im going to eat it. it would make me barf. but still, i traveled with it for a butt-load of miles. lol

Wed, 28 Feb 2007 01:17:38 GMT

guess whats in

2 months 3 weeks and 6 days....

GRADUATION!!!!!!!!

i am pumped. ya.

Thu, 22 Feb 2007 00:42:57 GMT

soo our guys Basketball team are pretty much AUH-mazing!?!?!?

Goood luck Saturday!!! woot woot!

Wed, 14 Feb 2007 04:32:47 GMT

i have not had a crush on a guy since stupid (hot) mr. original-beautiful (aka my lj icon pic)

i thought, in honor of tomorrow- V-tines Day - I should put the lil *rawr* as my icon to remind me of what i really want....

and can't have...

cause of 2 continents.

darn you - darn you for being to freaken beautiful.

Tue, 13 Feb 2007 04:25:38 GMT

sometimes men can be sooo grrrr....

some of them are complete idiots

and the rare few that aren't should be treasured.

Geez, I'm lucky to have found 2 (plus a few FEW others).

the others...they can leave.

Sun, 11 Feb 2007 23:35:18 GMT

Ohhh...Mr. K*Mart - if I only knew your name!?!?!?!?!

Mr. College isnt really in college, and is, in fact, a friend of my best friend.

Mr. Gorgeous is still looking rather fine. Talked to him, and I hope he's still going to UCF! woot!

thats all lately with my Mr. (...) guys.

darn it....lol

Sun, 11 Feb 2007 04:15:21 GMT

after all these years, he's back!

that girl changed him, made he block off the whole world.

she broke his heart and left him bare.

but now he's stronger, smarter, and coming back to who he was.

i finally got my friend back.

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 04:07:13 GMT

mmm...life has not been fun lately.

on the bright side, i now have a hhhhot rower guy friend on the *new* rower's site. he's pretty auh-mazing looking. and dang smart.

and my percent error on our last chem experiment fluxtuated from .9% to 50%. HOW does that happen?? lol

AND...i found the song that MTV has on their commercial for The Hills, Dance Life, etc. its:
Love Today by Mika!

and its auh-mazing toooo!

Sun, 21 Jan 2007 21:59:10 GMT

3 days.....till

4 MONTHS!!!!

Our time is coming
we are gonna ride away real fast.
we aren't gonna look back
only to the future, not the past!

GRADUATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sat, 20 Jan 2007 19:08:38 GMT

http://www.cbc.ca/littlemosque/

this is the cutest thing EVER!!! A humorous show about Canadian Muslims

its really cute!

Sat, 20 Jan 2007 18:41:35 GMT

life as a "senior" sucks.

thats the end of it.

there is no "magical" fun time. or actually anytime that isnt school, scholarship, college, or sleep time.

senioritis is thoroughly squashed by all teachers in their attempt to FINALLY teach us like they do in "college"

i would rather have this in junior year, and relax in senior. but it just doesnt work out that way.

so anyone who thinks that senior year will be OOODLES of fun, just remember how much fun freshman year was when we didnt have anything to worry about.

i miss those days...

Sat, 13 Jan 2007 17:26:39 GMT

just looked it up....

and guess, kids, whoooooos coming to GRAD NIGHT @ Disney??!?!?!!

just guess???

Cartel AND The Fray!!!!!

and 2 other people i dont really care about.

OMG!!!! WHoooooooooo.....excitamundo!

Mon, 08 Jan 2007 02:54:00 GMT

in light of the new Harry Potter movie coming out soon and the new and last book i thought i might share this article i found while i was searching for the name and release date of both aformentioned.

http://www.hpana.com/news.18202.html

in this article, some kid from the UNIVERSITY OF FLORIDA hacked into a website and set up a hoax about the name of one of the HP books.

i just thought it was classic.

i mean, what are they teachin' them kids over there @ UF! lol