I haven't posted on this in a long time. It will be about half a year, if not more.
Right now, a lot of things are happening that seem to really make me cherish the family and friends I have been given. My cousins lost their father and deep down, or maybe not so deep, I wonder and think and overanalyze and obsess with the fact that one day my parents will no longer be in my life. It is a scary thing to type that, let alone think it in my head. I can't think of what I would do. They mean so much to me. Even now, losing my cousin is killing me. It's not so much that he passed away; he was suffering and is in a much better place now. It's knowing my cousins are still suffering, and will for the rest of their lives.
Ever since my Grandma died, I have noticed more and more deaths around me. I think it takes one person close to you to no longer be there for you to realize the hole that they leave. You never realize that every person you meet takes a piece of your heart. Some bigger than others. It's not a bad thing, it just hurts like hell when you can no longer see them or hear them or smell them or even remember what their face looks like. The pain ebbs away, but one day you realize you can't think of their voice or see them in your mind and the pain returns, only it's new. This pain is one of finally losing this person not only in life but in mind. Memories are cherished, but don't always last forever.
When you find yourself mindlessly walking through each day, take a moment to step back mentally and observe your world. Cherish your friends and family and those moments. From silly things to momentous occasions. Cherish them then because life is not just a scrapbook or yearbook to look back on; it is a journey to live day-by-day and to plan for the future. Enjoy the people you hold dear in your life, and make everyday count.